Healing Things I Did for My Birthday

Birthdays have always been a struggle for me. Not because I hate getting older, more wrinkly, or anything related to aging. It’s trauma. Trauma has touched every aspect of my life and attempted to suck the life out of every corner. Even birthdays.

Last year I decided I didn’t want to just survive, or even strive through my birthdays and the associated trauma. I wanted to heal and thrive through my birthdays. I wanted to enjoy them. Last year I chose to intentionally make choices that would help change my experiences and feelings surrounding birthdays. I took a trip up to Montana and tried a few new things. From that I learned I love experiences, new experiences. I like learning about and connecting with the people, myself and the environment around me.

This year I wanted to take a girl-trip to Arizona. Have you ever been to Arizona during “winter”? It’s beautiful! It’s captivating! You’d never think that a dessert could be so beautiful…

I wanted to go again this year for my birthday. But something came up. God rolled up His sleeves and stuck His mighty arm into my life in an amazing, breath-taking way! (I’m still struggling to breath from the beauty and awe at yet again, another one of His Valentines Day and Birthday gifts to me this year!)

For my birthday this year I got to drive in England! On the left side of the road! And I got to drive a pretty little cherry red diesel Mercedes too! It was a good gift to do something hard and difficult and scary…and come away with more experience, more skills, more abilities. More empowerment.

And then…!!!

I got to spend half the day at Stonehenge. Yes, the Stonehenge!!! One of the wonders of the world (candy-shop-of-my-dreams for history-teacher-gone-wannabe-archeologists/museum tech and curator)!

The exhibit (visitors center/museum) had many amazing artifacts and clues. They even had some eerie music playing in the background. The best part was being able to walk all around the Stonehenge sight itself. I made it through only about 1/4 of the entire sight. Yet it was a very spiritual experience.

I don’t know if I could ever really put it into words and I won’t even attempt to. But suffice it to say I felt that Stonehenge truly was a sacred place, built and maintained by good people of ages past.

The visit to Stonehenge inspired me, encouraged me, and lifted me in pursuing my dreams and passions. I’m excited to return home and begin yet another (my second) master’s thesis/doctoral research dissertation!

God is good. He gave me a better gift than what I was trying to give myself. A bigger gift and springboard into healing and thriving through birthdays – healing the bitter traumas of life with the sweet daydreams of childhood and unspoken desires of my heart.

Now, let me tell you how my birthday started. It didn’t come struggle-free. I got a really bad haircut. I mean, really bad. A cross between a bowl cut, a mohawk, and a butcher shop’s chop-job. I chose to rock the bad haircut anyway.

I went to pull my blouse on and…it was super low cut and I had forgotten to pack a cami. I had planned to go to a clothing shop to pick one up on my way to Stonehenge. But ran out of time. And all my other shirts and blouses were dirty. I felt really uncomfortable wearing something so low-cut. I chose to give myself grace, withhold self-condemnation and wear my low-cut blouse with confidence anyway.

When it seemed like I wouldn’t make it in time for my reservation at Stonehenge (and thought I would have to cancel),, I chose to go anyway.

These were all “striving” choices – intentional choices I made at each point to help me stay out of survival and keep moving toward healing and thriving with what I have in the present.

I encourage you to team up with God and make some intentional “striving” choices this year for your birthday. If your birthday has already passed, then pick a holiday. Start small. And see what beautiful shifts and healing come your way!

Happy striving, healing and thriving!