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What My Trauma “Demons” Taught Me
I used to dread and loath when trauma demons from my past and present came for a visit. They’d come in the form of debilitating flashbacks, triggers, night terrors and nightmares, panic attacks, intrusive memories, and so much more. But then, I had an experience with one of these “demons” that changed everything. My daughter kept asking to go to the beautiful university gardens nearby. I avoided it and made excuses because I feared returning there. I knew it would trigger a suffocating amount of trauma demons. Even though I had graduated over a year prior, a paperwork issue arose that I needed to resolve. I did my best to…
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Trauma Healing Tools: Trauma Life Essential Oil Blend
Click here for full Disclaimer and Disclosure. If you have experienced any trauma or distress in your life (and let’s be honest, we can’t get through this life without experiencing something even a little scarring), this powerhouse essential oil blend is a must. Trauma Life Essential Oil Blend by Young Living. As a survivor of severe trauma, it has been very important to me to have effective and nurturing tools to safely release trapped emotions, reprocess surfacing trauma, and sooth triggers, flashbacks, sleep disturbances and other trauma symptoms. While reprocessing traumatic experiences in therapy, Trauma Life has always played a major role in keeping me firmly grounded in the present…
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Self-Care Series: My Journey of Redefining Self-Care
If you feel that trauma has changed you and your needs, and you’re struggling to find what truly soothes you, feeds your soul and breaths life, stability and purpose back into you throughout fresh trauma and post-trauma, then keep reading. Maybe it will be of some help to you. I know what it’s like to be left reeling with and having to manage a trigger storm. I know what it’s like to find myself feeling mentally and emotionally foggy and drained. I know what it feels like to be drowning in the waves of emotional flooding and flashbacks. I know what it feels like to wake up from an uninterrupted…
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Mountains, Wildflowers and…Chocolatey Trauma Healing
Montana has been such a special healing place for me over the last 2 years. It doesn’t take much to convince me to travel cross-country to Montana! Tonight I’m dealing with some sucker-punching real-live triggers. So you know what? I went on a walk – by myself – in the crisp mountain air. And I picked myself some wild flowers. Because nothing says “I love me, Camilla” more than giving me mountains and wildflowers – both in one day. I deserve flowers, dagammit! I deserve honesty. I deserve emotional intimacy. I deserve goodness. I deserve to feel cared for. So there! ? (By the way, the big yellow wild flowers…
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My #1 Body Shame
Someone close to me struggling with body shame asked me recently if I struggle with body shame at all. My initial response … “…nope…don’t think so.” Then after some reflection I realized I actually DO! And I honestly got excited because I know exactly how to conquer it! This abdomen … it doesn’t bother me that it’s not toned. I love my squishies. A lot! I’m proud of them and I’ve worked HARRRRRRRD to get a few rolls! And those stretch marks … I wouldn’t trade them for anything! It’s the hair. The pubic hair. All the way up to my belly button. In my early teens I was repeatedly…
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Fruits of Healing Trauma
Trauma. It has touched, affected, and permeated every corner, crack, and crevice of my life. Even General Conference. But today I tasted healing fruits. For the last few years I’ve had a really difficult time watching General Conference. Not because of mom problems (like little bedlamites running rampant and noisily throughout the house). It was because of trauma and how it impacted my sensory input. My threshold for auditory sensory input quickly dropped to maybe 20 minutes – regardless of how pleasant the sound was. Because of that, I haven’t been able to sit through and actually get something out of Conference for about 3 years. It has just been…
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How I’m Living My Dreams
I’ve been pretty quiet and limited in my IG posts and stories again. But this time for good reason. I’m in London. Yes! I’M IN LONDON, FRIEND! As a young girl I remember hearing bagpipes and the feelings that washed over me made my heart swell and tears come to my eyes. Every. Time. I yearned and felt pulled to “go home” to the land of bagpipes, always feeling that tug when I heard the bagpipes. I remember the first time I heard an English (British) accent my heart again swelled and I felt longings to go to the land from where this beautiful accent comes. Fast forward to my…
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Paleo Hot Fudge – Smucker’s Healthy Twin
I’m a hot fudge girl. Always have been. When I found out I couldn’t eat sucrose I was devastated. I had to avoid Smucker’s hot fudge for the rest of my life. How could any girl live without an occasional (or daily) spoonful of “medicine”?! About a year after my diagnosis and figuring out my safe foods I realized I still needed chocolates, brownies, chocolate cake, and hot fudge. I was determined to get what I wanted without making myself deathly ill. I started experimenting. I tried everything. I mean, everything and every combination available on the store shelf or online (at the time). I finally found the sweet spot…
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Christmas Time Healing Time
I’ve been fairly quiet lately. Just a few stories, “likes”, comments, and DMs here and there on Instagram. My very first holiday season as an “official” adult was one of the most traumatic times of my life. I had left home one morning on my bike, planning to go to work, attend classes (my first semester of college), go to work again, and then do my nightly home and farm responsibilities. Little did I know that leaving that morning with just my bike, the clothes on my back, and half my textbooks would somehow result in me never stepping foot in my childhood home again. When the unexpected moment of…
