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Tomato Soup for the Soul: What My Scars Taught Me
Recently, my daughter learned she has to live with a scar on her face for the rest of her life. Daily she remonstrated about how she doesn’t like it one bit. I don’t blame her. In fact, I could empathize a lot! When I was 13 years old, I had a tragic accident that could’ve caused devastating scarring, potentially ending my life’s dream of becoming a musician and composer. ___________________________ It was the Saturday before starting 8th grade. I was ecstatic for school to start. I had requested a specific teacher and it was granted. I knew it was going to be an incredible year! I was also preparing for…
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Fruits of Healing Trauma
Trauma. It has touched, affected, and permeated every corner, crack, and crevice of my life. Even General Conference. But today I tasted healing fruits. For the last few years I’ve had a really difficult time watching General Conference. Not because of mom problems (like little bedlamites running rampant and noisily throughout the house). It was because of trauma and how it impacted my sensory input. My threshold for auditory sensory input quickly dropped to maybe 20 minutes – regardless of how pleasant the sound was. Because of that, I haven’t been able to sit through and actually get something out of Conference for about 3 years. It has just been…
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UPDATE on Brittany Dangerfield
Brittany is still in the hospital in the mother and baby unit – but she’s out of ICU! (Your countless prayers have sustained her and strengthened her!) Her vitals remain normal and stable, and her fever is staying down!!! She’s still in pain, and she continues to battle with migraines. She had a 6-hour reprieve, then the migraines returned. She has gained relief from migraines through religious administrations. A big battle right now is management of pain (non-migraine related). My personal note on pain: I don’t know how to explain this, but those of you who have experienced it will know what I’m talking about. To some degree I can…
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Healing Things I Did for My Birthday
Birthdays have always been a struggle for me. Not because I hate getting older, more wrinkly, or anything related to aging. It’s trauma. Trauma has touched every aspect of my life and attempted to suck the life out of every corner. Even birthdays. Last year I decided I didn’t want to just survive, or even strive through my birthdays and the associated trauma. I wanted to heal and thrive through my birthdays. I wanted to enjoy them. Last year I chose to intentionally make choices that would help change my experiences and feelings surrounding birthdays. I took a trip up to Montana and tried a few new things. From that…
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Christmas Time Healing Time
I’ve been fairly quiet lately. Just a few stories, “likes”, comments, and DMs here and there on Instagram. My very first holiday season as an “official” adult was one of the most traumatic times of my life. I had left home one morning on my bike, planning to go to work, attend classes (my first semester of college), go to work again, and then do my nightly home and farm responsibilities. Little did I know that leaving that morning with just my bike, the clothes on my back, and half my textbooks would somehow result in me never stepping foot in my childhood home again. When the unexpected moment of…
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Surviving, Striving, Thriving
Have you ever felt like you’re standing at a crossroads in your life knowing and feeling with every cell in your body that you and God want to take the fork to the left? But you can’t see clearly? I’ve been feeling for a long time that I needed to become more active online, to share me, my story, my strength, and the hope and healing that I have – that God has give me. I’ve been terrified, filled with many fears and many reasons that had me stuck in inaction. After a lot of prayer, quiet, humble listening while reading the word of God, and gentle self-care, peace, clarity,…
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Fighting v. Building
I feel like I’ve been at war with my own body since I was a teenager. It wasn’t the way my body looked that bothered me. It was anything that impacted my functionality and ability to perform physical/manual labor. My crooked, gnarly “grandma” fingers that ached every time I practiced the piano. Or the Raynaud’s that would flare and cripple my hands in the middle of an orchestra concert or piano recital. Painful knees. Yearly ankle sprains that landed me on crutches every.stinking.summer! Frequent viral, bacterial, and yeast infections. Incessant fatigue, exhaustion, and brain fog. Car accident. Labor and delivery trauma. Adult onset asthma. PPD. PMS. Plantar Faciitis. TMJ. Etc.!…
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The Power of “No”
Have you ever had to tell someone “no” and felt this intense drive to explain or defend your “no”? I have. I’ve never really questioned that drive either until I read the following quote in The Self-Love Experiment. “No is a complete sentence.” I’ve been letting that sink in and percolate … “No.” and walk away. Smile and, “No thank you.” and walk away… That’s all. It’s a one-word boundary that efficiently and effectively teaches others what we don’t tolerate about their behavior or how they treat us. All packaged in one little word! I’ve been practicing this and find it magnificently empowering. Try it out for a few days…
