Fighting v. Building
I feel like I’ve been at war with my own body since I was a teenager. It wasn’t the way my body looked that bothered me. It was anything that impacted my functionality and ability to perform physical/manual labor.
My crooked, gnarly “grandma” fingers that ached every time I practiced the piano. Or the Raynaud’s that would flare and cripple my hands in the middle of an orchestra concert or piano recital. Painful knees. Yearly ankle sprains that landed me on crutches every.stinking.summer! Frequent viral, bacterial, and yeast infections. Incessant fatigue, exhaustion, and brain fog. Car accident. Labor and delivery trauma. Adult onset asthma. PPD. PMS. Plantar Faciitis. TMJ. Etc.!
Early in my childhood I had developed this negative belief that my value and worth was based on my ability to perform physical/manual labor. (I’m good at cleaning, I’m good at organizing, I’m good at milking goats, I’m good at hefting bales of hay, packing boxes and loading a U-haul by myself, etc.)
When my body screamed for attention and to be noticed I ignored it. I stuck my chin up and pushed through, muscling my way into forcing my body to do whatever I wanted my body to do – even if it hurt. But it came at a price.
It seemed like the harder I tried to fight and push against these ailments and afflictions the stronger and more frequent they bothered me.
Then this quote found me.
“The secret to change is to focus all your energy not on Fighting the Old, but on Building the New.” ~ Socrates
This quote was life-changing. It shifted my thinking and set me on a journey of learning how not to fight against my body; how not to fight against the perfectly planned curriculum God has for me; how not to fight against the plan that He has for my loved ones.
I started trying to build a new me rather than fight against all the old me and old body. I took violin lessons to build a new me. And when my crooked fingers would start aching I would listen to my body, stop, and let them rest. I practiced in 10-15 increments until I built up enough endurance to be able to practice for 45 minutes without aches or pain.
I tried new things like putting puzzles together, calligraphy, new herbal teas, essential oils, new recipes. I even started participating in social media and enjoying building new and fulfilling relationships with amazing people!
I stopped trying to fight against old unhealthy relationships and started building new, healthier, fulfilling ones instead. I’ve either cut the cord or significantly limited my participation in unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships.
Working with a service dog has also contributed to building a new me. I’ve learned how to say “no”. I’m worth saying “no” so that my service dog and I can safely work and succeed. And I’ve learned how to completely trust another creature.
I’ve been reading books and participating in activities that build and strengthen me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and professionally. Because there is more to me than my physical abilities or disabilities!
So many things have changed in my life because I stopped fighting against my body. Just yesterday I felt those monthly hormone swings start to drag me down physically and emotionally. I did not fight against it or try muscling or “just enduring” through it until the start of a new cycle. I listened to what my body needed and built another layer to my relationship with my body. I treated it well last night with natural, clean, soothing products like Aztec Healing Clay, essential oils from Young Living, a long, hot shower, grounding with the crisp fall wind, and herbal tea.
It was magical waking up this morning. I woke up feeling rested, refreshed, optimistic, and e.n.e.r.g.i.z.e.d!!! I had no trouble waking up. I just hopped out of bed – I felt so good. I never thought it was possible to feel so dang good during “that time of the month”. But I do!
All because I’ve stopped fighting against my body. I rest when I need rest. I nap when I need sleep. I eat when I feel my blood sugar dropping and/or when I’m hungry (I often feel my blood sugar drop before I’m hungry…). I use clean products. I eat nutrition-dense foods. I give my body the herbs and essential oils it needs and apply them where it needs them applied. I exercise using the exercises that my body craves. Etc. And I feel happy. Content. Fulfilled. In love with the new me and my body!
Do you feel like no matter how hard you fight nothing in your life seems to get better? Try not fighting. Instead try building something new. Build a new relationship with yourself, another person, or an animal. Build your body. Build your professional outlook. Build your skills and tools. Build new fulfilling experiences that bring you joy. Build. Build. Build. And watch and feel your life and stress levels change!
May you have a building day today!
